Why are we (f29) (m27) not there yet in terms of engagement and/or marriage?

Hi everyone,

My partner (m27) and I (f28) have been dating for 4 years. We’ve gone through some rough patches like any other couple and we also live 1.5 hours away from each other so we don’t live together yet just see/sleep over on weekends. We got to talking about where this relationship is going and we feel like we aren’t there yet in terms of getting engaged and getting married and we don’t know why? I feel like i see alot of couples get engaged in year 3-5 but we’re in between that but we feel like we’re not ready and idk if thats a red flag.

To be fair, we havent really figured out the future yet with where we are going to live, whos going to need to move jobs etc. which MAYBE contributes to why we dont feel ready yet but im not entirely sure if it does. So any advice with steps that can help us get there i guess? Or is that a bad sign? We did talk about that maybe we should break up cause it shouldn’t take THIS long to be ready to propose and we asked each other if we can see each other in the future living together and being a husband/wife and we both agree we do but its just weird that we feel like this.

TLDR: been dating for 4 years which makes us feel like we should be ready to get engaged and married but we dont think we’re there yet and we dont know if thats normal or not.