Am I selfish? Sorry long post.

I (36/F) am an attorney engaged (been engaged a while) to an ophthalmologist (36/m). We met when I was already a partner at a law firm and he was in residency (for context he was in tech for several years and then transitioned into medicine later which is why he started residency a couple years later). He moved in with me during residency and I was the breadwinner. I took on the majority of the house chores etc as well because his schedule was crazy, but I assumed this was temporary. Also a lot of the “wives” I met who were his coresidents said this was normal and I should be “supportive.” He then did a one year fellowship and again he was never around but I was still doing everything/paying for everything. This past year he has his full first year as an attending and it’s been a nightmare. For context, his mom in the same profession and owns a private practice and surgery center that he will be taking from her. He works everyday. He leaves at 6 am and doesn’t come home till 8 pm. Then he works on his laptop for the practice itself. He also goes in every weekend. They also do call for the hospitals around us and so he has to do that two weeks a month. He is never home and I am literally doing everything on top of managing my own demanding career. A couple months ago he decided he wanted us to elope, buy a house, and start a family. I delayed because he kept promising me he would be home more and help with something at home (can’t even get him to take out the trash most days). He finally made a little time to look at houses and ended up putting an offer on a house with the promise he would set boundaries at work. Now fast forward, we move in a week and he hasn’t helped with anything. I am now stuck taking care of the movers, packing, setting up utilities, inspections, you name it. To make matters worse he is now questioning why I don’t want to elope and start a family - but why would I want to add kids to this situation (who I would be taking care of by myself at this point)? Do I need to just cut my losses at this point? I bought a book called Fair Play but he refused to read it. I really don’t feel like this is normal.