Should I (22f) move states to be with my long distance bf (22m)?
My bf and I have been together 4 years and graduated college in June. He got his dream job straight out of college and had to move states (about a 2hr flight). I was looking for jobs in his state but couldn’t find one. I finally found a good job in my field in my current state, so I am living with my parents for a while to work on my career.
So we decided to try long-distance. It honestly hasn’t been going that well, and the distance seems to be uncovering some bigger emotional compatibility issues in our relationship (I am a bit more sensitive and he is a bit insensitive/uncomfortable with emotions). We have been trying to work them out, but it’s been hard and stressful because of the distance.
He says that we can figure it out together and he sees a future with me. He wants me to move in with him once my job contract is over (which ends in a few months). He says that he can financially support me while I find a job in his state. Otherwise, neither of us are super thrilled about long distance without a clear end date. I am unsure about taking the risk to move states because of a few reasons:
- There seems to be more job opportunities in my field in my current state and I am already getting interviews for full time work here, while there doesnt seem to be many opportunities in his state. I am also unsure if it is a good idea for him to be financially supporting me.
- I am starting to doubt the relationship because of these emotional issues I mentioned
- I would be leaving behind my family and friends
Another thing is I would never imagine myself living in the state he is living in if he wasn’t there, and he plans on moving to another state eventually, he just doesn’t know where and when. I feel there are a lot of uncertainties here and I just don’t know what the best option is. If anyone has a similar experience or any advice please help
Posted Dec 8, 2025, 3:26 AM UTC