Struggling with research proposal….I feel defeated….

I’m currently working on a specialist degree. I work full time and have a mentally demanding job. I am struggling to write this damn research proposal. By the time I get off work, my brain is fried and my meds have worn off. I do some work during the week but I’m mostly good for weekends. I have to be careful with staying up late because I have to wake up early and because of my meds…because let’s just say the last time I consistently did this in grad school, I ended up in the hospital. Every research class I have…. I absolutely dread it. I’m not interested in conducting research. I fucking hate it. This is why I decided to do a specialist degree instead of a doctorate but my ADHD brain missed this detail when looking at the curriculum and course requirements. I feel that I’m too far in to quit. I have to submit my final draft this week and I’m hella stressed. I’m tempted to take a day off work to do it but I must stay home to get this done. My professor was clearly upset and told us that there were only a few people who are done. This course is not repeatable and after this course I have one more next semester. I am stressed. Some details I missed on the feedback and so I think my professor feels that I’m not taking the feedback into consideration. On top of this, the course seems so distanced more distanced than the typical online course. Not good for my brain. It’s more like out of sight out of mind. We are expected to schedule meetings. I know I’m the adult here but I’m overwhelmed all the time it feels and I have bad task avoidance when it comes to grad school. Add in research and it’s a nightmare trying to get it done and I’m almost always late turning research in assignments. I usually do well with academic writing but this research proposal is driving me up the fucking wall. I want to cry scream and shout. Is it really this fucking hard? Am I that dense? Sometimes I feel like I can’t process the feedback or form what I want to ask because I’m already overwhelmed.