lwk freaking out abt considering community college

I’m a senior and honestly I feel like everything is falling apart LOL (not really lol but u know what I mean).

I moved back to the U.S. during junior year after living abroad basically my whole life. The move wrecked my mental health, new country, new school, literally no stability. I was recently diagnosed w depression and anxiety too so thats that! My old school didn’t have APs, no SAT prep, nothing. And my parents wanted to send me to a whole different country for school just to save money, so I couldn’t build the “normal” American resume everyone else has.

What’s messing with my head is that before all this, I was doing so well. Class president (3 years), head of 3 clubs, journalism awards, volunteering-like I was actually proud of myself for once. Then I had to move because of paperwork/family issues and everything just… yk reset. I feel like I went from being “that kid” to barely holding it together.

I don't feel like myself anymore.

Now my whole family is depending on me. They literally tell me I’m the one who needs to “make it” and it’s like bro I’m 17, I can barely pick an outfit in the morning, people in my high school don't acknowledge my existence (i absolutely HATE IT HERE) and I feel like I’m carrying the whole world and I’m scared I’m not strong enough.

And now here’s the part that’s eating me alive: I’m actually considering community college because of money. I’m trying to apply to my in-state colleges to see if I can get aid, but realistically CC might be the only thing we can afford.

And I hate that I’m disappointed in myself for even thinking that. Community college isn’t bad, I KNOW that but I keep feeling like I failed or like my entire life derailed because of stuff I couldn’t control.

Idk. If anyone’s been through something similar like moving countries, losing momentum, dealing with family pressure while your mental health is already COOKED how did you deal with it? And if you did CC → transfer, how was it actually?

I just wanna make a choice that won’t screw me over long-term, but my brain is beating me up about literally everything.