A lot of those labeled as avoidants are actually secure types who become burnt out dealing with endless insecurity

There's a lot of anxious personality types that are very quick to villainise avoidant personality types and portray them as selfish and uncaring

I don't think a lot of these people are aware of how draining it is to try and constantly reassure someone

Eventually people will feel it's futile and that no amount of words or action will make their partner happy and content with the relationship

Then when they get broken up with and see their partner move on they view them as cold and dismissive

The ones that breakup early are not the avoidant, they are just aware enough to know that no amount of work you put into a relationship with fix someone's insecurity

especially as you enter more relationships and spend time with anxious types you understand its not your responsibility or even possible to fix another's persons insecurity

losing interest in someone who can never feel confident within a relationship isn't being avoidant

it's a natural and healthy reaction to realising your efforts are of no use