im done.

this isn't really the message I wanted to send you today, but I'm not doing this in person for many reasons. i'm losing feelings for you. for multiple reasons. i think you know but ill list them anyway

-the cheating -the lies -the hiding stuff -Aidan and your messages you hide -the constant disrespect for your partner and their boundaries -the gaslighting -the manipulation -trying to buy kink stuff off reddit -you missing Liz so much you decided to "vent" about it -constant downplay of my feelings and how i feel about something -the not wanting to even try to understand why I feel the way I feel -the constant belittling of everything -the constant need for female validation from you -the constant porn then not understanding why women see porn as cheating -the constant belittling of what I think is cheating -when I try to talk you make excuses constantly -no flowers -no date nights planned (your term of date night is sex) -no effort into trying to even plan a date -no effort in anything unless it benefits you -you use my cutting and relapse ways against me to make it seem like i'm manipulating you

and more. Yes i've done stuff and I'm not perfect but a few things I can say is I was loyal for the majority of the relationship until you fucked around too much and found out, you took my feelings and my attachment and used that as thinking you could do whatever and I wouldn't leave you, you have drained every fiber of my being out of me to the point my body is rejecting you 24/7, and lastly even if I wasn't perfect, or I made mistakes, I fixed them, you didn't even try, you continued to do the same stuff you always do, and you don't want to even attempt to fix that. you say you think about how your actions would effect me but you don't, because if you did you wouldn't be doing them or hiding them knowing they would hurt me, and yet you still do them. so yes I'm losing feelings, I'm done, and I deserve better and you might too, but my husband wouldn't treat me like you do, wouldn't lie to me like you do, and wouldn't do anything that you do at any point in the relationship.

i let my standards go so far down for you to the point I lost any and all respect for myself, and it's sad, I wouldn't have been like this until you, and I think the part that hurts the most is I put effort into trying to believe you wouldn't hurt me again, you wouldn't cheat again, you'd stop hiding stuff, etc, yet you can't even do that, and you've shown me that the entire relationship. i deserve better than that & i'm not going to waste my time on someone who thinks I'm a rebound from their ex, a game, and an object for your kinks. you've shown me no matter if i'm nice, loyal, a bitch, unfaithful, mean, the gentlest soul, that no matter what I am, it's never good enough and you'll always find something else to give you validation and an adrenaline rush. it's sad, truly and I hope that you see one day what your actions have done. but I know you won't and you've shown me that this entire relationship.