I really see no point in anything anymore and it's making life horrible.

I (18f) have struggled on and off with mh since I was younger, but this year has by far been the worst. Sometimes, I just feel so incredibly sad, which leads me to feel like giving up. I'm a pretty good student and had so much potential, but I gave up. Even in my AP lit class which I know damn well I could've had a 100 in, I failed the tests because I stopped studying, I saw and still see no point in anything. I fucked up my chance of going to a good college now, considering my grades are horrible, heck, I haven't even applied because of this mindset of mine. I really don't think I'll make it that far. It's such an isolating feeling being like the only one who hasn't applied to schools yet. And I know I'm going to have to eventually but I doubt I even have a chance anymore.

Quite honestly i just feel lazy, I barely do anything but sleep (alot) or go on my phone. If its not sadness I feel its just this intense desire to do nothing, I mean I care a shit ton about my grades but I don't have the motivation to put energy into my academics anymore. And even when I do try like I did for my AP Bio test I STILL did horrible, this fueled everything even more.

The thing is I'm so ambitious, I want to do so much and be something but currently I just don't care much about my life anymore. There's no point to anything.

Nobody understands this either, and I don't have friends to really talk to.