insecurity

i’m 20w pregnant and have gained around 15-20 lbs (i am now around 205 lbs) this is the biggest i’ve ever been and have been feeling so insecure. i genuinely feel so ugly and disgusting. i recently looked at my husbands following on instagram. found a woman’s private account and it was an onlyfans. my husband’s on deployment so when i confronted him about it all he said was that he didn’t know he still followed it and that he’s had a rough day and isn’t gonna do this with me and that he’ll talk to me later. idk how to feel. at first i felt so neglected and hurt. then i understood that he’s having a rough time on deployment. and then i js stopped feeling upset and i got over it. but knowing that he wouldn’t even apologize and try to comfort me was eye opening. i realize he doesn’t usually apologize for much and reassurance from him is basically unknown. i felt pathetic. but now idgaf. about him or getting any apology or reassurance from him.