To the love of my life.

Although I am not sharing this directly with you, this will be the last letter I write to you. Not because I want to let you go, but because we met at the wrong time. With as much sorrow as I feel now, I will always be grateful that I got to experience your love for a short moment in time. 13,392,000 seconds, 223,200 minutes, and 3720 hours is how long I have known you. To those who have never experienced this type of love, I may seem crazy, but to me, there was never a moment I have doubted that you are the love of my life. Your laugh will forever be seared into my mind, along with the horrible impression you do of my accent. The smile that once lit up my world will now be a distant memory, and I am blind to any future ahead of me.

As selfish as this may seem, I hope that you forget any trace of me, so that you can love again without looking back to see memories of what once was, as I will do for the rest of my life. love wasn’t meant to linger as sorrow, and if the only gift I have left to give you is freedom from remembering me, then I offer it with no regrets. I hope you find someone whose love feels effortless, someone better than I ever could be, and I hope that person gives you the forever I couldn’t. I hope they never take your heart for granted, and they choose you every single day without needing to be asked.

I chose you out of a million people, and because of that, I know I will never love the same again. You were the love I didn’t just want, but that I needed, like something my soul recognized before I ever could explain it. In my life, I have never believed that someone has truly loved me, and in return, I have never truly loved. That changed with you. You were the first person who made me feel the words “ I love you” in my chest before I ever spoke them. I built my life around you without even noticing it.

I will forever be grateful that I got to love you with everything in me, even though that love has nowhere to go now except into silence. If I had known from the beginning that our story would break me into pieces, I would still choose you every time. The moments we shared are worth an eternity of every tear I now shed alone. You were the future I believed in more than anything, and now I have to mourn not only losing you, but everything we have created.

I will move forward, because time will always force its hand, but my heart will never love with the same reckless innocence again. The memories feel like ghosts, soft, familiar, and impossible to forget, and some nights I still reach for the idea of us, even though I know it’s gone. The amount of times I wanted to come back and lay in your arms are uncountable, but that would be unfair to you. As much as I long for you I will never hold you back. If goodbye is what fate demands, I’ll hold the memories like scripture, but in another lifetime I beg the gods to let you be mine.

Forever and always,

Sweet-T.