Is this normal?

Context, 24 f 1 yr with 29 m. Live together with my two siblings.

I’ll make this quick. The past few months with my partner have been constant fights. I mean every few days and for hours long. We’re both sensitive and emotional people.

However, I’ve just noticed the fights on his end are quite high. Small fights will turn into hour long lectures, where multiple things I’ve done and somehow hurt him and brought up. Many passive aggressive comments and downright rude.

I’m not perfect, I’m sensitive and quick to assumption, irrational at times. But…I just can’t help feel like this isn’t right. I try desperately during the fights to be accountable, apologize, emphasize and explain while it’s never done with ill intention—I feel guilt for ever causing him pain.

But it’s just not enough. The conversations will sky rocket into breakup territory with threats, which always results in me becoming emotional.

Even now as I’m writing this, I’m outside in my car because we’re fighting. My sibling annoyed me and our takeout was incorrect, I was just annoyed. So I went into the bedroom to hide out until my sibling left. I received a text stating I’ve pushed him too far and he’s eating dinner alone.

I quickly expressed that, that my sibling annoyed me and I was waiting until they left. But it just snowballed. All of the sudden I had hurt him, disrespected him. He was frustrated and just kept stating I wasn’t understanding him. I broke down. We’ve been fighting all weekend and I just couldn’t do it. I stated I did understand him. And he said “the most manipulative thing I’ve ever heard in my life is someone saying the understand me when I feel misunderstood” I apologized and begged him for a chance. Begged for us to take a step back and handle this correctly. He kept speaking over me and I lost it, saying “no. No you will not do that to me.” And walked away, preparing to get myself food and give some needed space.

Before I left he demanded me to come to him, stating “you treat me disgustingly, the way you treat me is fucking awful. You stand there with that fucking smug look on your face.” I’ll be honest, I had a look. But more so of, “this doesn’t feel right. I’m confused and horrified about what next is coming out of your mouth” so I defended myself, and it backfired. He shut down and I left.

Now we’re texting, him inside me in the car. I’m expressing we should break up if I hurting him and angering him, that I’m trying my best to work on the things that cause him pain but I’m failing. And he was with it, but now the text tone has changed and he’s trying to reconcile. I know I know, you live together and you’re right outside texting about a breakup? I don’t know how to answer that besides, yeah. That’s what I’m doing and I know it’ll be uncomfortable once I go in.

Is this normal? Is this healthy?

I’ve been in therapy for two years and my therapist has been expressing that my current behavior and characteristics are so unlike me.

TLDR: 24f and 29m have been fighting. Fights are hours long and emotionally high. In a current fight and 24f is trying to break up with 29m over text.