AITA for being like this?

Me ‘19M’ and my partner’19F’ have been in and out of a situationship for this past year. We plan on becoming bf gf before the end of this year when I move out, the reason we couldn’t sooner was due to deep personal reasons including siblings and parents, along with friends and previous drama. We fight a lot about some simple things. Her father always took lots of care for her as she didn’t much have a relationship with her mum and because of this she is used to having every problem solved for her and being treated like a queen without doing anything in return. I on the other hand was raised harsher with the whole mindset that “if i have made a mistake, the only way it’s getting fixed is if i fix it, and if i figure out how to fix it on my own.” We would argue a lot that she would come to me with all of her problems even though she hadn’t tried fixing them herself first. This annoyed me and we compromised by me saying “come to me with the wrong answer instead of no answer, that way i can see that you have tried.” This eventually didn’t happen and we went back to arguing weekly. I then said that she could still go to her dad for those issues and i was more than happy to help her with anything else. She didn’t like the sound of this as she wanted me help more often than not and a lot of times, even when i couldn’t solve it i would give advice, which was rarely listened to. For context these were minor issues like friendship drama or even something like a frog was in the shower. This is a long distance relationship and the times when I would try to give her advice or help her rid the shower of the frog, she wouldn’t listen to what i was trying to say and how she can get the frog out without touching it. The issues she has had with me are that I don’t speak to her much during the day when i am busy or i don’t treat her how her dad treats her. I have been making an effort to talk and call her more throughout the day and this last week i am proud of my progress. Our relationship has always been built around the fact that we were good friends first and it involves the casual joking and the occasional tease. She stated that in this last week that she had tried putting up with the jokes as it was my “love language “ and was sick of it as i hadn’t tried loving her in her love language even though i had been making an effort. Whenever we do catch up in person which is around once a week. I am always gentle and caring and make an effort to kiss her in public like she likes. I also stated that i can make a larger effort with treating her more gently over texts and such but she said she was already sick of it. I snapped at her and asked her if she planned on ever acting like a woman considering how often she used the excuse that she was “just a girl” she got offended and asked for examples and i mentioned how incapable she was a solving issues or her critical thinking ability

I have always been told that i have been mature for my age and that i am very independent. I don’t do well with all people and i share a lot of characteristics with my granddad who has Aspergers. I am emotionally intelligent but not always emotionally caring. She is emotionally caring but not always intelligent. I find myself constantly asking her to be more mature and understanding how she approaches conversations instead of always victimising herself first and how she always deserves better even though she doesn’t always treat me very well. She would constantly argue that i don’t buy her enough random gifts and to that logic i replied that she has never done the same for me and never bought me any random gifts. I love her a lot and i feel we have been through too much to call it quits. This is the one thing holding us back. Am i in the wrong?