On Byler Anxiety

I have GAD, it's like a ball of anxiety katamari. I just keep picking up things to feel anxious about. Byler is a new one for me.

I think there is a lot of fear about Byler not being endgame. It's just a TV show, but for me it stemmed from s5 e4 being filled with so much gay joy, I heard so many lgbtqia+ stories from real people who related to them. And my fear is that the story ends with Will alone, just accepting himself. That would break so many people's hearts.

It would send the message that: It's okay to be gay, but your happy ending is being alone.

And I love platonic love stories, but we've rarely ever had what we are hoping for with Byler endgame. A slow burn romance in a non romance genre that culminates in a gay happy ending.

They are soooo so close to doing that. So close to making a fantastic storyline. It's like we're on Mt. Everest right at the Hillary Step.

Of course the creates anxiety.

Then on here and on tumblr there are many "rip off the bandaid" types who want to enforce and remind you that you are being queer baited. Don't be so hopeful because the disappointment will hurt more.

I was a massive GoT fan. My favorite character was Little Finger. My second favorite character was Jaime. 　You can imagine how upset I was if you saw s8. This time it's different because this time the stakes are that we might get to see something that's never happened in a major TV show, or we see something that always happens in a major TV show. One would uplift the lgbtqia+ community and some, the other would satisfy regular fans of the show.

Higher stakes here.

But let's actually imagine it doesn't happen (highly unlikely though tbh. When my anxiety is gone and I think logically it's the only ending I see based on how they've talked about the finale. But I'm talking about anxiety here.)

Awful people who were already being mean will continue to be mean.

Maybe friends and family would rub it in.

But we are dealing with fiction here.

Somebody WROTE that.

Two guys who loved 80s films collaged a bunch of their favorites into a TV show with strong female characters, a moving story, a boy who gets powers by accepting that he is gay, etc. Maybe they don't go through with it.

But it's fiction. That means, YOU get to make the ending.

Clamp made Cardcaptor Sakura and many other famous titles. They were also doujin artists who wrote mostly BL. They made works based on their fandom.

If it doesn't end with Byler we will have learned something.

That it was the superior storyline.

That a slowburn romance about two gay boys slowly learning about their sexual identities at different times and a metaphorical angel of samesex love helps them find each other is an AMAZING and addictive story.

Maybe we have to wait another decade for that, but it will give a stepping stone for some AMAZING and much better stories.

This show being as massive as it is means so many directors, actors, writers, etc are watching it. If it doesn't happen I am sure there will be those artists begging for it, seeing the missed potential, and going for it in their own works.

I for one am already rewriting my stories to be more like Byler because having tiny crumbs, tiny snowballs, develop into an avalanche about something unspeakable in that setting. Well that is the best, most interesting kind of love story. It's also much easier to write into a different genre.

I for one have learned SO much about writing from Bylers, so much about lgbtqia+ experiences that I don't have (I'm ace).

Please come away from this post believing two things:

1. It's okay to be excited and hopeful, you don't have to plan to be disappointed

2. If it doesn't happen, go get a paper and pencil and start writing

Either way we will win.

(Also Byler is not unrealistic, many happy gay endings from real people telling their stories online.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug0dOhWb-_M

This is extremely similar to Byler. Really cute story. Maybe a work of fiction doesn't depict it, but Byler would be true in reality. )

Also I just talked to my therapist about this and she asked me: What does this fear want you to do?

My answer was "be soothed"

And my way of soothing that fear: Finding real lgbtqia+ stories Writing a Byler esque story in my own comic

Let Stranger Things Byler endgame or no Byler endgame inspire you to become a better person. You can be sad (I definitely will be) but don't be afraid of sadness.

"Make mistakes, learn from 'em. And when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave. But, please, if you don't mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches."

All this being said. I totally think Byler is endgame, just dislike the "you must prepare yourself to be disappointed and accept that it's not happening because the world us cruel"

You can prepare yourself by imagining your own Byler endgame story. If it doesn't happen, you get to write an awesome story. If it doed happen...well maybe you can't write that awesome story because it's already on the show 😂

Just don't despair!