Avoiding the Obvious Solution

I feel like as Christians who deal with sexual sin and pornography addiction, we are always looking for some one time fix solution to addiction, and ignoring the actual tools that we have to fight lust and addiction like prayer and the bible. I recently relapsed after going 11 months without pornography and I got there by heavy prayer and being in the word. This time around I knew exactly what I needed to do to escape this hole; but I find myself purposely ignoring the obvious solutions to my sin because deep down I truly do not want to quit, and I just want to keep living in sexual immorality. I feel a lot of us do that, because we simply don't want to be cured of this cancer bad enough. The first time I quit I had so many reasons on why it was bad, but now I am struggling to supply myself with a good enough reason to want to quit. I am almost certain it's the lust rationalizing in my mind to stay in my addiction. All this to say, we can't quit addiction if it's truly not genuine, if we truly seek out healing any of us could be cured through Jesus, it's just that we don't want to. We need to have the will power to say no to temptation, and that starts with truly surrendering to God. I am 100% sure I can get rid of this poison in my life, because I have seen how God worked in my life before I strayed away from him. I honestly still do not have a good enough reason to quit, but I realized that I don't need to wait around for a reason to quit that satisfies my mind other than God saying it is wrong. You can come to these subs all you want right after you defile yourself and feel guilty and express how much you want to be done; it's not going to do anything, we need to give it to God, the medicine he gives you isn't going to taste good at first, it's going to be bitter medicine because your body is so used to just giving into immediately to your lustful thoughts, but just remember that it is your flesh that is protesting against change, not your spirit. We need to kill the flesh, because when we go to heaven our flesh doesn't go with us; only the spirit. Lowkey just wanted to post this to hold myself accountable and hopefully let others hold themselves accountable so we can let this poison leave our lives, and achieve all the goals God has in store for us to reach, that won't be possible with pornography addiction.