Is everyone just lying about how tough the toddler years can be or are we doing something wrong 😩

For reference, I have a 7-month-old daughter and a 2.5-year-old son and they are my literal world I love them to bits. I swear, almost every single time we leave the house it takes five years off my life and makes me never want to take him out again. I’ve tried very simply explaining dangerous/safety things more times than I can count like needing to hold my hand if we’re walking on the street or in a parking lot and he just doesn’t understand or care. Which, sure, maybe is just the age, but like??

I pulled him out of the car tonight after grabbing some groceries and had my hands full (we live in an apartment complex, so there are always cars around the parking lot), and he just wriggled out of my hand, making me drop everything, and darted across the parking lot with an oncoming truck driving through.

I know better than to compare, but sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m the only one struggling to control my kiddo, like none of my mom friends have any issue with their kids (around the same age) staying with them, or tantrums leaving the park, or crying because I cut his food wrong, etc. Is this just to be expected toddler stuff?

I hate that I feel like I dread going anywhere with him, because we both need to get out or we go crazy being cooped up at home. But it’s hard to want to at this point when it’s almost always spent chasing him with a baby strapped to me and then ends in a meltdown because I won’t let him do said dangerous thing. 😭

I’m not sure what exactly I’m looking for maybe solidarity that this is just a season of life? A boy thing, a toddler thing, a mix of both? Or are we doing something wrong?