Can you lose your "default" tan skin? Used to be tan but then covered up and turned real pale

This is probably a silly question and I can guess the answer is most likely going to be "your skin was never tan to begin with" but I used to be quite a tan person. In middle to highschool however I started covering up and hiding my skin almost entirely from the sun even during summer through hoodies and such. Because of this I have lost ALL of it. I am now quite pale but like mmm I when you look at my skin colour and undertone you can still tell I have the potential to tan real dark? If you know you know. Anyway after getting over that teenage insecurity I started wearing short and revealing outfits as I feel comfortable in those, but I wish I had my tan skin back😭😭 In my head thats what my "default skin" looks like and I dont quite feel like myself. Kinda ironic cuz I used to really hate that part about myself, probably internalized racism or whatever. After summers Ive noticed my tan lingers pretty much until the next year and thats probably sun damage but maybe an angel(me) is just regaining her wings😭😭😭 Either way this is going sooo slow and I hate self tan what to do