Potential PD/BPD

My ex hasn’t been diagnosed, but based on what our couples therapist and my individual therapist said, it’s strong traits of BPD.

I don’t know. But this is what’s happening again, and I don’t know what to do. Am I imagining this orbit/hoover or is this just something else? It’s been 3 months since this breakup and every time we get closer, she disappears and says I was the initial dumper.

I’ve posted this in the NoContact Sub.

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We have been having a rough break. I broke up initially. M37 and F41

I’ve regretted it. During the breakup, I’d did a lot of void filling on dating apps etc. But never meet anyone, just window shopping.

Anyone, we tried to fix it several times. Nothing managed to last.

Then lastly, she decides no contact and wishes me good healing. I call her, we argue and she blocks me.

Fast forward more than 2 weeks. She sends an email that she doesn’t want repair. But she needs clarity and seeks closure in what happened in the relationship. Otherwise she can’t heal and move on.

She on blocks me on social media. Checks all my stories. Then to block me again.

What does that mean? What does this person actually want?

I’m confused as I’m trying to heal. I love her, but I was ready to keep that love for myself and accept that she isn’t coming back.