His final message should’ve brought closure… but It didn’t

it’s been a week since my ex sent a long “apology” message, (apology meant for his healing so HE can rewrite the story and less about mine and what he put me through) ending it by saying he’d never reach out again and that he hopes I find peace. You’d think those words would feel comforting or give me some sense of closure after everything he put me through… but they don’t. i found out throughout our relationship, he constantly chased after his ex messaging her, staying in contact with her friends, even showing up at places she used to work behind my back. He put so much effort into keeping that door open but with me? He never fought. It was effortless for him to say he’d never speak to me again, or walk away/want to break up so he can go cheat. it cuts deep.

Maybe it was so easy for him to let me go because I finally saw through him because I called out his behavior and stopped entertaining the manipulation. But knowing that doesn’t make the pain any lighter. It still hurts so much. He cheated on me repeatedly, and I guess the only “positive” is that I don’t have to worry about him trying to cheat on his new girlfriend with me. But even that doesn’t ease the weight of everything I’m feeling right now. I know people are going to say I should be thankful and happy but I’m not..