Is there still no fix for steam multiplayer thinking you have both tmodloader and Terraria open?

Whenever i or a friend opens tmodloader, steam cant decide whether we're playing it or base terraria. If it decides one of us is playing terraria and the other is playing tmodloader, then we have no option to join or invite each other. And we have to close and reopen the whole game. If it decides to change mid game and says one of us isnt playing tmodloader anymore, it kicks one of us out, and then we both have to close and reopen the game again.

Im just trying to play mods with a friend, it shouldnt be this difficult. Ive literally never seen any other game with this kind of issue. We've spent the last like 2 hours trying to figure this out. Ive seen tons of threads years old at this point with the exact same problem with various ways of fixing it, none of which have worked. This shouldnt still be a problem after years. It shouldnt even be a problem at all

This is honestly more of a rant than anything cause im frustrated. But id really appreciate it if anyone has any ideas for ways we could fix this