I(19f) have developed romantic feelings for my best friend (20f). I want to be honest with her but I'm unsure how to communicate something like this without risking our friendship. What are some ways to approach her?

Sorry if this is long, i just need to give context. I also apologize for bad grammar/word use, english is not my native language.

I have know my best friend, let’s call her L for about 3 years but we’ve been best friends for about a year now.

L and I have always had a bit of a flirty friendship but I’ve never tried to take it further because she’s always identified as asexual along with problems with her parents. Her parents are quite conservative about same sex relationships and even though they’re friends with people who are queer, they’ve expressed they don’t want that for their own daughter.

Well recently she and i have been joking about kissing lately, and I understand that some best friends joke about that but it means more to me because i’ve always had a bit of a crush on her. We’re both cosplayers and have cosplayed as quite a few common ships(i almost always let her pick the cosplays and play along with them). Well a few weeks ago we posted a video in cosplay of a non canonical ship and our comments were spammed with “kiss! kiss!” and i’m not going to lie that made me a bit flustered.

Last week L came over for a sleep over and she texted me before i arrived saying “Oh u can kiss me if u want” and i almost dropped my phone because all fun in games but is it just casual to say that? When she got to my house i didn’t mention it because i didn’t want to make things awkward. Later after dinner and a movie we decided to cosplay because i have a small studio room that’s set up for filming. I let her pick the cosplay and we ended up doing Yoshiki and Hikaru from TSHD (this isn’t very important just a detail) which is a (sort of) common BL ship.

Anyways, while letting her pick the audios and ideas for videos worked on my makeup. I started getting a bit anxious because in the back of my mind was her text and I still wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. Once I was done, we did some silly skits and lip-syncs until the audios we were getting recommended became a bit more… “suggestive” i guess..? One of the audios was the “if you wanna make out with me just ask” and I jokingly suggested it and she caught me totally off guard by nodding and saying sure. I had to make sure she was serious but she confirmed and we did it as a joke, i made sure not to actually kiss her and just to make it look like we were by keeping our heads out of frame but we kept messing up by laughing or not getting close enough (she kept telling me to get closer) after about 5 takes, i ended up just going for it and kissing her… yes, i mean on the lips. She froze and i immediately pulled back, thinking i made a huge mistake. I grabbed the phone and deleted the clip without even watching it. I apologized profusely but to my surprise she said it was fine and asked if i got the clip, i said i deleted it and she said “Oh okay, i guess we’ll have to re do it then..” I think my soul left my body. I’ll spare you the details, we ended up kissing two more times and posting one of the clips. It ended up kind of blowing up over night (1k+ likes)

The next day she kept referencing it and bringing it up, i’m not sure why but i definitely know it wasn’t my red LED lights making my face red. We ended up cosplaying again and she asked me to kiss her again… i had to psych myself up this time but i went for it again and kissed her. Yes, this could all be for views and likes and i would understand. Though, it’s been a few days and she keeps talking about it and sending the photos of us kissing.

After kissing her, i know for a fact that i do have feelings for her. It’s not just some crush anymore, i know. I’m scared to like her though because i’ve only ever had one real relationship and i ended up getting cheated on and lied to the whole time. I also don’t want to ruin our friendship or cause her parents to not like me because i’ve worked so hard to get them to like me.

Extra info: She explained to me that was her first kiss and she was happy it was me. I am Pansexual and gender fluid but i put f because it’s easier to explain. She’s been asexual our whole friendship and i always want to respect her identity. Though, she’s been mentioning lately that asexual ppl can still have feelings for others. Not sure if that means anything.