My 4 year old is driving me crazy and I’m becoming an angry mom. HELP!

Just to be clear, I love my son. He is a joy and the light of my life. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

But Jesus H Christ I am losing my ever loving mind! He fights me on EVERYTHING. Brushing his teeth. Getting dressed. Going to the bathroom (potty training has been an abject failure). Doing ANYTHING in a reasonable amount of time. And it’s suddenly gotten so much worse. Everything is a battle.

He is considered twice exceptional in that he has a high IQ (clinically evaluated) along with a speech (just pronunciation at this point) and social delays. He has been evaluated for autism, but determined to not be on the spectrum, though I suspect he may have ADHD.

I just don’t know what to do. I hate yelling but I find myself yelling just out of frustration, which of course still doesn’t work. I hate the person I have become and I am exhausted and stressed all the time. His father and I both work full time, we are renovating a house we have purchased, and also selling our current house which means we have to keep it in a ready-to-show state all the time, which is difficult with an obstinate four year old.

My son is so smart and so sweet and when he listens and is “good” we have the best time. But lately I just want to pull my hair out!

Does anyone have experience with something like this? Please tell me I am not alone here!