in denial that my grandma passed away

me and my grandma were really close, she took care of me almost every saturday during my childhood up to my teen years, and we'd watch shows together and laugh together and she would cook good food for me and we had a really good bond, but in the past year she has had dementia and has been going in and out of the hospital, i always told myself that she would get better someday and we could go back to how it used to be when i was a child again as she has been sick for a few years already but the more i tell myself this the more the years passed and now im no longer a child, im 18 now and she just passed away last wednesday, i feel like this is a dream and i dont know how to feel about this, i remember her smile and her food and all the memories ive had with my grandma, walking in her house with all the memories ive had with her, and i just cant accept that shes gone now it feels unreal, we also cremated her yesterday and i just cane believe that the grandma i know and love so much is now just ashes and bone. How do i get over this? I lost already lost my grandpa before but we werent as close as i was still 11 at the time but with my grandma its different as we share a very close bond compared to what i had with my grandpa.

i just feel like she left too early, she died in her 70s and she did so much for me in her life and took care of me for so much of my childhood, and now shes gone and shes not gonna be able to see me graduate, become a dad, nor will i have the chance to treat her to good meals or pay her back for whatever she did for me, i dont understand why she had to leave so early, but at the same time im happy for her as she no longer has to suffer in pain and go thru treatments every single week anymore.