Stay or go?

I’ve been married for almost 10 years, and for most of that time, our physical connection has been lacking. My wife and I haven’t had much intimacy, and for the past six years, things have become almost non-existent. We don’t hug, cuddle, kiss, or have sex. We even sleep in separate rooms. The only physical connection we have is holding hands when we go out.

I’ve brought up this issue multiple times, but she’s never shown any willingness to change or even acknowledge it as a problem. She’s never been attracted to me, and the intimacy is just not there. The past year, we’ve only had sex once and that was on New Year’s, after I pointed out our lack of intimacy.

As for me, I still have a strong sex drive in my 40s, but unfortunately, it’s leading me down a path I don’t want to be on. I’ve found myself turning to things like massage services or other forms of physical contact to fill the void. I feel like I’m avoiding making meaningful connections outside of these services because I love my wife and, deep down, I know we can take care of each other as we grow older.

I’ve started to think about divorce a lot recently. Wondering if this is just my reality now, or if things will ever change. Should I just resign myself to living like this and hope my desire fades over time, or do I need to seriously consider whether divorce is the answer?

I’m reaching out for advice. Has anyone here been in a similar situation? Does it ever get better, or should I start thinking about my future outside of this marriage?