what are shutdowns like for you guys?

im trying to understand what bothers me more. i am late diagnosed and someone who pushes a lot of uncomfortable things away, or i "bite the bullet" and just do whatever is uncomfortable without letting myself feel uncomfortable. i have chronic dp/dr so im pretty disconnected.

i always thought i didnt have meltdowns. i was praised as a kid for always being a "trooper" and never complaining or throwing tantrums, ever. i can think of one or two times as a kid i had a meltdown.

but lately ive been noticing what ive seen be called shutdowns. these are also pretty rare for me, but ill basically get more dissociated and feel super heavy and not be able to think of words or have the energy to speak them, and these episodes are in response to stressors.

i brought up a recent episode of this to my therapist and she mentioned shutdowns. but i thought that a shutdown was kind of more intense and like you literally couldnt physically move or talk no matter how hard you tried.

if its okay, i think hearing other peoples triggers for shutdowns and details about what they feel like to them, in their body and brain and feelings, would help me get a better grasp on how i react to things, after a lifetime of just kind of ignoring and "sucking it up" with everything.

thank you!