6 year chronic pain anniversary coming up end December. Hopeless.

It's gonna be 6 years living with chronic pain in a couple of weeks.

Can't believe how it all went to hell. Multiple things.

Visited so many docs, got completely different conflicting diagnoses on almost everything. What a joke.
It's all tendon / nerve related. Did a lot of PT. Different PTs. All amounted to nothing.

The latest doc even laughed in my face when he saw my extensive medical file. Docs can't believe I've got 4 things going on. It's like they immediately assume there is something wrong mentally with me.

I've been gaslighted, put on antidepressants for 18 months that destroyed me even more (completely sedated and checked out mentally). Took me a massive effort to quit them, which I have luckily.

I can't even sit without being in pain.

Tried doing so many things to get my mind focussed on other things but the pain. New hobbies, solo travel 2 times a year. Volunteering.
No improvement. Yoga for 2 years. Focus on work to keep my mind occupied. PT exercices 3 times a week for 3 years.

Family life watered down, people tired of me complaining. Only have really superficial friendships left like at work or volunteering. Single for the past 12 years and can't imagine a relationship with a partner anymore.

I'm so tired of it all. I can't muster the strenght and energy to go for yet another opinion with new doctors? I'm talking about 4th opinions now... My God.

Every New Year I hoped for improvement. Ain't gonna put hope in that anymore.