Being an autism parent is hard sometimes 💛

I just wanted to share a little and hopefully get some support or advice from other parents who actually understand. I’m a young parent with an autistic toddler, I love her more than anything, but some days are so hard. I’m still trying to figure out the best ways to support her.

She is a big climber. Been since she was able to walk. Dressers, kitchen counter, bathroom counter, etc. Everyday for months now, as soon as she starts the day she’s getting onto the kitchen counter. Throughout the day she’ll find her way onto the bathroom counter or other places, but every time I calmly say “no counter”, pick her up and place her on her jungle gym (same height as counter), and say “yes tower”. It doesn’t help. She will push the jungle gym to the counter to climb back and forth. It’s gotten to the point where she knows she isn’t supposed to be on the counter, and when she sees me coming to get her down she jumps off the counter while standing. My biggest concern (other than her feet all over my counter), is obviously her falling and getting seriously hurt, as she has gotten hurt already.

With my child, almost any way I react gets laughter out of her. I try my hardest to stay neutral and calm but it’s frustrating. I have bought her the tall jungle gym, spinning chair, hanging sensory swing, I have set routines for us to do “life” chores together (baking, laundry, etc), short homeschooling sessions, morning outside time for 1-2 hours, etc. etc. I try to fill her day with plenty of activity because honestly she is just nonstop and gets bored fast. But the second I go to the bathroom, start washing dishes, or basically turn my back she’s on the counter. Does anyone have ANY tips on preventing this? She used to always push chairs up to climb onto the counters when she was smaller, her OT recommended putting chairs in a different room when not in use and that worked, but now she’s big enough to climb up completely on her own. I’m ready to get rid of every counter in the house. We do some sensory activities with kinetic sand, shaving cream, etc. I feel like I should have more “sensory” toys for her, but I don’t know what to get. Right now the only toy she is playing with, is little people figures. She lines them up on the counter (or inside my kitchen cabinets.)

Another thing I would greatly appreciate advice on: teeth brushing. It’s never been super easy to brush her teeth but I was able to do it (she won’t on her own). But recently, she won’t even open her mouth. To brush her teeth, I would basically have to hold her down and forcefully do it and obviously I don’t want to have to do that, but then I feel absolutely horrible for not brushing her teeth. I really don’t know what to do about this obstacle either. I bought her a 3 sided sensory toothbrush, but the brush is like plastic and she definitely doesn’t like that either. She doesn’t like the motorized brushes, and absolutely hates the taste of toothpaste with fluoride. That’s probably why she is refusing, but even trying to use training paste, she won’t even let me try.

Thank you for any advice and letting me share. I have absolutely no prior experience with autism before her so this is definitely new.