Ok… looks like we survived. One bloody day of a traumagenic system :)

It started with us trying to figure out what the hell was happening inside.
We knew we had super difficult feelings: some parts were afraid (even terrified), other parts tried to control everything, there was the silent girl, and a teenager writing poetry and worrying she’d always be alone…

Reina — the one who holds the business, the studies, the clients, and all the other shitty hell of obligations — had to work on the sales strategy (while being pressured as hell by the critical situation in the business).

And all these feelings from all these younger parts were overwhelming her, so she opened the door to this inner world she had never opened before.
And we spent 7 hours trying to calm everybody down.

The work was finished by 1 AM.

And then I (Ag’n) and Reina had such a shitty conversation that I swear — that’s exactly why I hate this “let’s have a talk” crap.
Can you imagine a breakup while living in the same body?
Sleeping bound together because there’s nowhere to escape?
And even in a fucking dream I couldn’t be sure it was me feeling and thinking, not her…

We didn’t figure out anything, and in the morning I just realized I have huge issues with women — starting with this so-called mother of ours.
And you know what?
Reina is a woman.
I guess it’s not her fault…

Sometimes you don’t touch your system, don’t communicate, or hide in denial because there is simply no acceptable way to feel everything you would feel if you opened those fucking doors.

But we’re still here.
Still alive.
And even have some kind of common sense left.

For everybody who has a traumagenic system that contains a damned planet of pain — endless, unsolvable, unbearable…
Hold on, folks.
We’ll make it.