if i take my own life

if i take my own life i won’t be able to hear my favorite music anymore. i won’t be able to have long hair again and dye it pink. i won’t be able to eat good food. i wanna stay for many reasons but im so fucking tired. i’ve been wanting this for over 10 years i wish i could just gain the courage to do it. i wish i had done it a long time ago before there was more people to hurt. i just can’t stand living anymore. i wish i didn’t have the responsibilities i have. i wish i could be free and wild to be whoever i want to be without judgement.