I want to date a registered sex offender

I'm a male and I suffer a lot of mental health issues and literally can't function on some days . I find it hard to love myself but easy to love others. I have fantasies about truly loving a registered sex offender sort of like blitzo and stolas in helluva boss. I'm stolas of course . I find if I start having fantasies about loving a unlovable person my brain feels better and my illness goes away .I don't know why that's the case or it's just part of being human . I would even abolish the sex offender registry just so my partner and I could be closer together in my mind . What's wrong with me. I