Question about letting go of external validation/over explaining

Hi everyone :) I saw in some threads on here that people found that with growing emotional intelligence they felt lesser need to over explain or seek external validation. I’ve been told by therapists and others in my life that I have high emotional intelligence (which I believe I do) but I feel this is an area that is a deep wound for me. I would love any advice or tips to move past this and heal this piece of myself