I cut all my hair off.

I (23f) had hair about down to almost mid back. I am naturally a red head and have extremely thick and curly hair.. I do love my hair so much but I have a problem with pulling my hair out when it gets long and then also just felt like I wanted something new. Well I got like a pixie/mullet basically lmao. It doesn’t look terrible but I hate It. I can’t believe I did that. I’ve been having a pretty big mental break the past little bit and I feel like I might have done this as a way of subconsciously hurting myself.. I don’t recognize myself. I feel like I look like a boy or no offense but a they/them and that def just isn’t me. Me and my bf basically have the same haircut now mines just longer and I have little bangs. I can’t look at him and I don’t want him looking at me.. he says he likes it but I know he’s just being sweet and telling me what I wanna hear, I could read it all over his face when he saw me://

Am trying my best to think of this as a new beginning and being able to move on from my past and try my best to be a new better me.. but it’s hard when I can’t look in the mirror.