INFJ Men are amazing

Hi! ENFJ woman, I’m actually amazed at how kind INFJ’s are and how insanely attractive that makes INFJ men in particular. I’ve had some pretty negative experiences in the past with guys only seeing me as physically attractive and being extremely shallow, I’ve also had men try to take advantage of the fact that I’m forgiving and try to see the best in people. One of my closest friends is an INFJ man and he is so kind. (Always making sure we are safe, walking us home, and overall just being wholesome.) We are just friends, but he’s such an important part of our circle.

A few months ago I was riding back to my dorm on the bus after class and I sat next to this guy. The bus stopped suddenly and he slipped and came close to falling off and I smiled and laughed softly. He ended up complimenting my shoes (uno tennis shoes, this becomes important late) and I started talking to him. I asked for his insta because it’s a huge university and id likely not see him again if I didn’t ask. (I viewed this purely in a platonic way, but I can see how too most people that seems like flirting.)

Months go by and we message off and on, and at that point he started sending good morning texts. It was really sweet but I was honestly really overwhelmed and struggling with my health and classes and didn’t have the mental energy so conversation started tapering off. When my health got to the point where I had to go to the hospital and I believe I mentioned it on my story and he reached out again to see if I was okay. We talked off and on again but were both busy.

And then su we started talking a lot and the conversations were really deep and I started really feeling scene. He mentioned not having friends to study with and I immediately asked if he wanted to meet my friends and if he was okay with me adding him in the group chat. At this point I knew he would mesh well with all my introverted slightly awkward engineering friends. They asked him how we met and he proceeded to give the most wholesome description of my shoes and my INFJ guy friend immediately realized what was happening. I was still a bit clueless and didn’t understand until he mentioned me asking for his Insta. He remembered the maybe 20 minute interaction from months ago so vividly that I finally realized what I had done.

We continued talking more on the side about our values and hobbies and he then asked my favorite colors because he likes to make paintings for people. At this point I realized I’m screwed because I’m not used to this level of wholesomeness from men and it was very romantic. We started talking about writing and he asked to read some of my work. A guy has never asked me this, and not only that he read the entire thing and had understood the true meaning behind it and asked more philosophical questions. I ended up also reading his writing which sparked the conversation on how he feels so much pressure because of toxic masculinity and how he feels like it’s almost looked down up for being emotional and caring. He’s a renewable energy major and loves traveling and animals and it was just so sweet.

This led to him talking about his past and being so genuine and vulnerable about the work he put in to better himself that I was completely enamored. He then thanked me for being so kind and not judging him. I’m not used to people thanking me for that. We talked more about our values and I found out he’s also Christian so I invited him to church with me and he immediately said yes. I’ve talked to a lot of guys and none of them have even attempted to dive deep with me like he has. They see me as bubbly, social, and kind and immediately assume I’m not smart and just “wife material” all I have to do is buy her a pretty ring and she will be happy. When in reality the quickest way to make me like you is just deep conversations.

All of this to say I love INFJ men. From my limited experience they are very kind and respectful. They let things develop naturally, and I never felt pressured by him. I know society deems men who are comfortable being soft as less desirable, but personally it’s the most seen I have ever felt. Please don’t stop being kind. 💕