My urges keep getting worse every day the past week.

After finally thinking that I was over all of this, my mind keeps waking up to the thought of sending and being drained and it’s not getting any better so far.

Even with good sleep, even with good self care, it’s always there, every morning, most of the day. Sometimes I wonder if it’s easier to just give in than to try and annoy myself with these thoughts any longer… it’s been months since I’ve done any sending but man this is difficult…