My dad just died

2025 has been horrible….. three deaths including my died who just died a couple of hours ago literally three days before my grandfathers death….. I don’t know how to deal….. i can’t stop thinking that because I know cpr that I could have started it before ems but I was at work… I have no one down here except for my dad and my cats…. I am like the black sheep of the family he married into. Apparently my stepmothers sister told my stepsister that “I’d better not be nasty to his wife “ I’ve never been nasty with her. We’ve had disagreements but I’ve never been nasty. Her daughter talks worse to her than I do. Her daughter’s made her cry…. I’m rambling now so I think I’ll just end the post here.