classmate from 15 years ago is gone

my home town is extremely small. everybody knows everybody. this girl (let’s call her P, 20M) had a troubled family and her mom killed herself in march of this year. i seen it on FB. i said to myself “god, i feel like P is next.” and on the 14th of november, she killed herself also. i haven’t spoke to her since 2011 when we were in kindergarten together. it’s tearing me up though. idk why. whenever i see a pic of her, i get such dark feelings. i feel pending doom when i think of her. it’s as if her suicide made me lose hope for my own life and now i’m shattered. does this even make sense?