Yearning to be a Christian husband and father despite being gay. Need advice…

Long story short: I was born Muslim, became atheist in my teens, then Jesus called me in my mid-20s a few years ago, over these last few years I’ve grown in my faith and relationship with God, so much that I’ve gone from someone who was always depressed and never had ambition for anything, to finally wanting to live a life that brings glory to Him.

But now I’ve given myself a dilemma. The past 6 months, all I can think about is wanting to be a husband to a Christian wife. What better way to grow in faith than with someone who always gets to be your witness and confidant, who will hold you accountable and help you stay on His path, and you do the same for them in return as you continue to lead them to God. And the beauty that we could raise Christian children, for the Lord’s sake.

I just don’t know how I would ever approach this with a moral conscience. It wouldn’t be fair to marry a straight woman as we wouldn’t be equal in our desire for each other (even though I know plenty of marriages like this exist, i.e. marrying someone you’re not attracted to because they offer something you want).

I’ve entertained the idea that I could marry a Christian lesbian or asexual woman who miraculously has the same desire as me. The convenience that we would never compel physical intimacy on each other, only doing so for procreation.

Is God calling me to this life that I should pursue it? Or am I just totally delirious and need to let it all go? If the latter, how do I move on from this?

Please, any help or advice is most thankful. 🙏🏼