Woke up to my neighbor going down on me when I was blackout drunk and I'm spiraling.

I need to get this off my chest because I feel sick and angry and confused all at once. This past weekend my neighbor kept pressuring me to “catch up” and watch a movie with him. He’s been doing that for weeks. Texting me constantly, every morning, every night, always pushing. I finally gave in because we share an indoor porch and I didn’t want awkwardness, even though I didn’t even want to hang out. I was drinking that night. A lot. He wasn’t drinking at all. I remember saying goodnight, going into my own apartment, putting on my pajamas, and getting into bed because I was exhausted and drunk and everything was blurry. That’s the last thing I remember clearly. The next thing I remember is waking up and everything was blurry and suddenly seeing his face between my legs. I couldn't figure out if it was a nightmare or real life. My pajama pants were off. I didn't take them off. I don’t remember letting him in. I know I didn't. I don’t remember anything except that sick blurry moment where I was too drunk and disoriented to understand what was happening. My brain couldn’t process it. All I knew was that something felt horribly wrong and violating.

I can’t stop thinking about that moment. I keep crying and I keep scrubbing myself in the shower . I can’t even think straight about it. I feel like I'm going insane. I have such rage in me

And the worst part is what he said the next day. He texted me, completely , saying "let me know when you want to know what we did"!! LIKE IT WAS SOME CUTE SECRET WE SHARED. I HATE HIM. it was some cute secret we shared. I don’t even remember anything. I was drunk. He was sober. And now he acts like it was a two person experience.

He keeps texting me every day like nothing happened. Every morning. Every night. Trying to talk to me every time I step onto the porch. And now that the memory is clear, I feel disgusted and unsafe and furious.

I don’t know what to even call this. I don’t know if my reaction is normal. I am also blaming myself because I shouldn't have gotten that drunk but I genuinely didn't think this would get to this point idk . Was I assaulted?