Inescapable insomnia and alcohol

I came out to my loved ones Saturday night and ive been in my apartment under strict watch by my family but I am a little drunk right now because I kept some statches of beer and mild liquor hidden in case this day happened.

I am lost I need the alcohol to tell my body its time to stop working. Without it I cannot sleep I will never try and my eyes will never close until I had a drink. I drank up the rest of my reserves today and tomorrow I will have to be sober. I dont want to live the rest of my life like this a fucking junkie that has to drink and lie to their family to survive.

Has anyone else suffered from insomnia and used alcohol to cope

I just want a magic pill to cure my insomnia but ive been made aware it never existed.