I (21F) did something that I can't forgive myself for to my (21M) ex, did I ruin everything?

I really really need help

I (F) recently had a situation with my ex (M) that completely spiraled, and I need outside opinions because my emotions are all over the place.

We broke up about three months ago, but we stayed in contact and things between us recently started feeling warm again. He came over to my place, stayed until midnight, we talked like we used to, he was relaxed, touched my arm and cheek, joked with me it felt like we were reconnecting.

Then something stupid happened.

He had been talking to another girl. I was curious why he suddenly removed her from everything, so I reached out to her pretending to be someone else just to ask “why did you remove him?” I truly didn’t have bad intentions I just wanted to know what happened. She started to be more sus and i ended up telling her who i was and we had a call and she told me few things about my ex that i didn't like but also i didn’t know how much i can trust her. So i ended up telling him what i heard [with her permission as well] exp i twisted the story a but and told him we meet on accident on overwatch VC thats why he came over to my place at first place to explain himself but ince he told me what kinda person she is i had a bad feeling. She told him I contacted her, lied about some things, and basically called me a snake and a b- word idk why I didn't say anything bad about her.

He confronted me and said he felt guilty for “letting himself date someone with this kind of attachment.” He said he thinks I still have feelings for him, and that makes him uncomfortable. He also said that asking someone why they removed a person isn't a huge deal, but pretending to be someone else made it look worse than it actually was.

We talked through it calmly, and he wasn’t angry, just disappointed and confused about my intentions. I apologized and told him it came from curiosity, not obsession or anything like that.

Now I feel like I ruined everything. I keep thinking he will never look at me the same way, never want to date me again, and that this destroyed any chance we had of getting close again.

I’m crying a lot because I feel guilty and stupid for doing this. My friend told me I didn’t do anything unforgivable and that I’m being too hard on myself… but I still feel horrible.

Did I actually ruin everything, or am I overthinking? How bad does this situation look from the outside?