I have never felt “good enough” and this addiction feels like confirmation.

From a very, very young age I was bullied incessantly mostly from a very close family friend who would pick on me about my weight and how I looked. I was a child when this began. It only escalated from there, my brother got into it and he started to bully me in the same way and despite making it known to adults around me at the time, it never stopped and only got worse. I have been led to believe my whole life that my physical being will never be enough for a man. And now that I reflect on my marriage, there were so many signs. My husband made it known to a friend when we first started dating that he never dated someone as “big” has been before. I was 69kg. He has never complimented me throughout our entire marriage, including on our wedding day. And I just feel so incredibly deeply hurt by his addiction to other women. I’m now 3 months is separated from my husband, but I just don’t know how to rebuild my confidence. I feel like I will never be enough for anyone.