warmth vs toxicity

There are some families, like my brother-in-law's, who all get together for dinner. Obviously, we're talking about these families having three children, all engaged, and some with grandchildren. This means they see each other at least three times a week to eat together (maybe the children come home late from work, and it's customary for them to have dinner at their mother's, and their wives go to theirs anyway).

Obviously, these families are excellent at creating that warm environment; everyone is together, it's social, and it's certainly good for their mental health. But on the other hand, it's as if these kids are big kids, always eating at least two or three times at their mother's house. And the girls take advantage of this.

The worst thing is that they themselves can't recognize that there are toxic attitudes in their family. I mean, it's the Italian family, but I have to say that Americans are very different in this regard. That's why they call Italian men mama's boys, now I understand. I don't know what hurts more, though:

a) being with your family three times a week, but knowing that you're getting a bit of toxicity in exchange for human warmth, and in any case, being with other people is good for you.

b) being alone, seeing your family twice a month, but having your independence, but missing that human warmth, colder relationships, etc.

I really wouldn't know what to choose.