This sucks.

I’m not sure if this counts as a rant? I suppose it is.

Me and my partner/roommate (of about 3 years) recently decided to take a step back from the partner label and just be friends. We’ve always struggled with the romantic side of our relationship, because well I struggle with romance in general and have just recently started to accept I am on the aro spectrum. I never really felt like I could provide for her in a very romantic way despite being a very committed and loyal partner. Unfortunately, for her romance kinda takes center stage and so we decided that we would be better friends than partners, but talked about things and admitted we still want to share affection and intimacy since we both enjoy those things with each other. In our breakup conversation we talked about how much we love each other and still wanna be in each other’s lives.

It’s been a couple weeks and I already kind of feel forgotten…. We are both poly and before we split she was seeing another gal who is very also very romantic and their relationship has kind of gone into overdrive now. I’m happy she’s found someone to fulfill her in the ways that are important to her. I’m just starting to realize the time she made for me was more out of obligation and now that we don’t have the label….well yeah.

This isn’t meant to sound like I am complaining and I accepted this outcome would be a possibility when we decided to end our partnership it just sucks and I feel like I’m going to struggle building relationships with folks when romance isn’t something I really fuck with.

People get the impression that me not wanting to engage in romance also means I want to be alone….yet I still crave companionship, affection, and intimacy. I know I just have to find more like minded folks, it just seems like a hard thing to do. Anyways thanks for reading if you take the time, I just needed to get some of this out I suppose.