What if I f**k up???

My plan has always been to take my 9mm to the head but what if things don’t go as planned? What if I survive? My life is miserable but I can’t even imagine how much more miserable it would be living life as a vegetable. Does anyone else that plans to go this way have these thoughts?? I’ve always thought going this way is the quickest and least painful but there’s always a chance things can go wrong. I would love to hear what you guys have to say or if anyone has any suggestions on how not to f**k this up, I’m all ears.