Diagnosis unclear

Hello everyone,

I am 34 years old. I had my first manic episode with psychotic symptoms in February this year. It lasted a month, until they found the medicine (Respiridone) that worked for me. I didn't hear voices or see things, I would just talk about things in my past and try to untangle the mess that was going through my mind. My mom died a year and a half ago, so the doctors thought that might have been the stress activator of the episode.

I have an uncle who is schizophrenic, and a cousin of the same age (and same side of the family) who also had a psychotic episode.

I was on Respiridone (following my psychiatric advice) until late August of this year, when I was told to stop taking them - we had been reducing the medication slowly. I am stable and functional. I have been sad since the episode but I always thought it was the post episode depression. I requested antidepressants and my pshychiatric was okay with giving them to me, but he's been off sick since September and the new doctor that saw me a couple of weeks ago was hesitant on giving them to me.

Last week I received the letter with the writtings from the last session with my psychiatric, and saw that I am diagnosed "F29 0 Unspecified Non-organic Psychosis". I googled it and thought I would text my cousin to see if she was afraid of being in a Placeholder diagnosis. Turns out she was taking antidepressants (post-episode) and these activated an hypomania. She's now diagnosed as Bipolar 3.

So now I am a bit scared I might be bipolar (I guess 1, as I had the big manic episode). Basically the doctors are waiting for me to confirm what to diagnose me. Anyone faced anything similar? Is there anything I can do to avoid another manic episode? What should I do? I am kind of scared. What's it like, being bipolar 1?

Thanks