Deciding to let my husband make important decisions

Hi, I’ve been married to my husband for 2 years. We have an 8 month old. We both work and we both have chronic illnesses. I’ve been looking at my behavior regarding decisions in our lives and how my fluctuating affections and emotions have caused us to stay in confusion and inaction and irresponsibility. My husband wants to take my opinion into consideration but I no longer trust my opinions. For example we are wanting to buy a house but we also want to move near family. I want to move near my family to care for my elderly Aunts but I also want to move near his family so our son can grow up with his cousins. My husband prefers his family or staying where we are but then I declined the first transfer I got to move near his family. I also declined several transfers to move near my family because I’m afraid of the toll of taking care of them will have on us especially because one of my Aunts needs a lot of help. Then I change to wanting to stay where we are. Then I tell my husband I want to move. It only recently dawned on me that I have a real issue and am not fit to make these decisions. I want to hand it all over to my husband who is clear about what he wants. Even though we’ve prayed about how to move forward I don’t think I hear clearly instead I’m clouded by these wavering affections. My husband is extremely frustrated with me and is ready to have a home for our son. Also I give money to people too readily not considering our own needs and future expenses. We are lower middle class. We still have student loan debt. I haven’t started medication for the illness yet but I will definitely have a copay that will be no minor increase in our monthly expenses. We have some savings but not enough to justify giving like I do. One major emergency could put us in a bad place. I can’t keep giving away money to everyone I know who needs it. I literally wanted to give away my whole checking account to a friend last week because she missed work from her and her family being sick but she’s also been pretty irresponsible in the past few years financially and should have savings for this. She’s also married. This infuriates my husband who says I don’t prioritize us and he hates that I think of and do extreme things like this. He can’t trust me. I’m starting to see his point of view and it scares me that I’m like this. It’s like my head is in some alternate universe. Would you all please pray for me and my family and give me any insight you have? Thank you