Am I ready for closure?

Okay it's 1:30am, and I'm stuck on something that happened 5 years ago.

I had a friend. A best friend. We met when we were 5 and bonded quickly. We had so much in common, it often defied my beliefs. 20 years later, and 5 years ago, we stopped talking.

I'd like to blame it all on him and his now wife, who he began dating 7 years ago. And yeah, she was a lot to deal with. She had unmanaged BPD and that drove a wedge between us for sure. He enabled her behavior. But I was far from perfect. I made selfish decisions. I said things I didn't mean, even if I thought I meant it. I loved him so much, and I hated that he was slipping away.

Most of the time I'm fine. I've moved on in many ways. I have a really kind, solid friend group. I have hobbies and a good job. But the other day my mom mentioned that she had lunch with his mom earlier this year. It was entirely benign, she didn't share much. But it put him back in my head. And I've been thinking- it's so hard for me to move on because I have no closure. I'm hung up on him.

I want so badly to message him. I want so badly to reach out. But is there any point if he's still with his wife? I don't know if he hates me but I'm sure she does.

So, please, either talk me out of it or tell me what to say. Even if he just doesn't respond, I get closure. I just want to know what to do.