I haven't done anything with my life since graduating high school, nearly six years ago. I know I'm young and got time, but with my track record and overall mental state, I can't see myself getting better anytime soon apart from just doing enough to keep up appearances as no-one irl knows how badly I'm doing. 

Right now, I'm wanting to get back into going to the gym consistently and eat 3 meals a day. But I'm struggling to even do that. I've gotten a belly from all the munchies this year and the lack of exercise, which is a first for me as I've always been a skinny guy. I'm also bald as I got a receding hairline and decided to shave it regularly this year. I'm on hair pills, which are working very slowly, though they give me negative side effects like a lowered sex drive and possibly ED, but it's not like it matters.

I live in my hometown, in my dad's place by myself (parents divorced and he fucked off to another state). So yeah, definitely don't have a father figure and it becomes very obvious when I compare myself to my friends that I somehow still have. I lack a lot of skills/confidence a 'traditional man' has, I'm scared of driving, unassertive and had an inferiority complex since I was a kid and whatever else. I miss when I could sit down and enjoy doing hobbies, nowadays I just mindlessly consume fictional media, YouTube videos, etc. 

Anyway, there's alot more that I could say, but I'm sobering up and been feeling tired all day, so I'll try to sleep now as I don't really have anything else to do.

I'm tired of doing the bare minimum with looking after myself to just repeat my empty life everyday. I've been depressed for years and got a weed addiction as I'm dependent on it to feel happy, also can't remember the last time I was sober for more than 3 days. Pepperoni & cheesy garlic pizza bundle