Looking for guidance - difficulty deciding if I should return for a second course
Tl:dr: Is it right for me to do another course? I enjoyed my course in 2022. Maybe too much? I would like to do it again, but it seems it did not affect me in the way it affected others and I am concerned over wanting to do it again for the wrong reasons. I would like to hear the thoughts of this community about my situation.
Long post coming:
I write for advice on continuing Vipassana/returning for a second course.
I attended in 2022. I did not have a meditation routine before and I have not had one after, apart from periods of 10 minutes in the mornings and 20 minutes at night that I continously work on doing (succeeding maybe 60% of days).
But that is not the reason i doubt returning.
I had a good time. I found it restful. I enjoyed the meditation. I enjoyed the food, the bed, the room and my roomate when we talked afterwards. I enjoyed the slow walks among the trees. I liked spending so many hours meditating. When not meditating, I enjoyed spending time with myself in my own head. I had intense and interesting dreams at night. Rising in the mornings was not pleasant at first, but I did not mind it.
But.
I experienced no ”mental surgery”. No particular intense feelings apart from enjoyment or neutrality/equanimity. I did not feel particularly changed afterwards, apart from having developed better modes of ”sensing” of my body, which has helped my meditation (the little that I do) since. I just felt interested and content and calm.
I had interesting things happening during the course meditation (dissociation of ego, sensations of wholeness). I think I had one sankhara day 4-5 with a VERY intense hour-long pain in my leg that was very painful and weird. I observed it and it dissolved. But not particular strong emotions that I saw others have at the course and I see people describe over and over again. Did I miss something?
As a person… I did the Big 5 personality test and I am really low on neuroticism and very high on openness. Prestige and ego is not important to me. I have had traumatic experiences in my past as a child, but nothing really ”buried” (that I know of). I love life and I love people but I am an introvert and content with that. I can be a bit scared of the dark (the parts of the course that touched on such fears was helpful). But nothing that affects my life too negatively. I often clash with authority that I do not respect. I can have difficulty compromising at work and in relationships. But I am very content with myself and my choices.
Thankful for any advice.
Posted Dec 9, 2025, 9:45 AM UTC