How do people survive marriages filled with anger, aggression and constant fights? I’m losing hope.

I don’t know where else to talk about this, but I really need perspective from people outside my environment. It has been 1 year and 9 months of our marriage and these issues started right in the first ten days!

My husband and I have completely opposite personalities. I recently started reading more about numerology (his destiny number is 3 and mine is 7), and the more I read, the more I fear that maybe we are simply not compatible at all. But leaving numerology aside—our real-life situation is extremely painful.

Whenever we try to discuss anything, it turns into a terrible argument. We’ve had huge fights… including physical ones. He says he “never gets physical” and that I “hit him” too. I’m 5'3", 60 kg. He’s 6 feet, 79 kg. There’s something called defending yourself, but he turns that into “see, you also hit.”

The verbal fights are even worse. The things he has said about me and my parents are beyond hurtful. Of course he claims I’ve said bad things too, which is barely true.

His anger is unpredictable: it rises extremely fast, he loses control, throws things (earlier more than now), grabs me, wrestles me, twists my arm or wrist… I’ve had got hit in my spine, finger, arm, elbow. Had to get complete bedrest for days...I honestly don’t know what place on my body will get hurt next. And then—within an hour or by the next morning—he becomes totally normal. A different person. Calm, sweet, apologetic. Hugs. “Sorry.” Promises. Kind words. But the damage is already done. You can’t hug a dead body and say “sorry.” And I genuinely fear where this is heading.

He says I “provoke” him and that my reactions cause his rage. I keep telling him the physical aggression is the real issue, but he believes it’s my fault. People told me to “stay silent” earlier, and I tried that. But when someone keeps insulting you and your parents, silence becomes impossible after a point.

I feel trapped and confused. The pattern keeps repeating. I am scared. I feel guilty. I feel hopeless. I feel like maybe we were never supposed to be together.

I want to hear from people around the world:

How did you survive something like this? Is it just me who is struggling this much? How do you know when it’s time to walk away?

Any advice, experience, or perspective is appreciated