To those of you who lost friends

Do you wish they had reached out?

Hear me out.

I lost a friend 5 years ago. He married someone with BPD, it drove a wedge between our friendship and we haven't talked since. But we were friends for 20 years- since we were 5 years old. It was really difficult for me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him every day.

I wasn't perfect during that time. We were roommates, I was too close to the situation, and I had too much going on with my mental health. I made selfish decisions. I hurt him, just like he hurt me.

I want so badly these days to reach out and apologize and talk. But as far as I know, he's 7 years into a relationship with someone with BPD. I'm the enemy. I wonder if it's even safe for me to reach out.

To those of you who have survived these relationships, do you wish a friend that you lost during that time would reach out?

To those of you still in it, how would you respond?